A SATIRE ON I SAMUEL 8:1-21 IN LIGHT OF THE SUNDAY-
The people (the laity) said; Give us a CLERGY to lord it over us … And the Lord Jesus said, “They have rejected me so that my Headship should not be expressed throughout My gathering in the way of My choosing.”
So, this is what the CLERGY will do when they reign over you: They will take your sons and make them serve as ushers who will greet the church-goers with a handshake and a bulletin, for this is their ministry and their calling. And they will run in front of the offering plate to direct it to the laity who sitteth quietly in their pews. For the apparatus called the “Sunday Morning Church Service” requires much energy and even more money to run smoothly, without any hidden surprises, such as God really showing up. But not to worry, there’s no space for that in “the program.” If you can’t find Jesus Christ in the sermon, then sitteth down and keepeth that to yourself. Undue attention to the obvious is not your calling or function by order of what it says in the bulletin.
The CLERGY will assign some of you to be Sunday School teachers, and others to mow the church grounds and clean the bathrooms, and still others to make bulletins for the Sunday Morning Church Service. The CLERGY will take your daughters to decorate the church foyer and set flowers all around, and to make coffee for Sunday School . And some of your menservants and maidservants may be on “the worship team” as part of the central performance. This is a higher calling than ushering and should be “desired earnestly.”
Your place in the congregation is laity. Your task is to be the CLERGY’s audience every Sunday at 11:00 and to watch the program. You are to sing according to what the program saith to sing, to sit and stand on queue as the bulletin directs. If you say “Amen” in the right place, this giveth the CLERGY great satisfaction. This saying “Amen” now and then is your ministry and function in the church service. And don’t forget to take notes from the preacher’s sermon that he copted from the internet.
The CLERGY system may offhandedly speaketh of the priest-hood of all believers. As a test to see if they really believeth this to be true, you may asketh them when will it be your turn to giveth the sermon. The look on the CLERGY'S face will tell you that you have spoken out of order. This is the time to goeth back to your pew and sitteth quietly and unobtrusively, and feel shamed into submission to their authority in higher places--at least, higher than yours. Besides, you're not "ordaineth" by the denominational headquarters set on high.
You also have a contribution to make when the CLERGY calls for “fellowship time.” This is where you really get to function and this is your time to shineth. You will be directed by the CLERGY to greet those around you. But once that is done ( it shouldn’t taketh more than five minutes) be sure to findeth your seat again and politely waiteth for the rest of the religious program to finish its predicable course, i.e. announcements, opening prayer, singing, offering, turn and greeteth, sermon, closing prayer, go home, repeat next week.
For no longer are you freed men and women who are equal to the CLERGY task in ministry. Oh no! This is pride that exalteth itself beyond measure. Instead, you will listen to their sermons and follow the CLERGY’S “purpose-driven” programs; for this is your purpose and calling in the religious system called “going to church.”
But, if there ever cometh a time when you have had enough. When you begin to feeleth your bones drying up and you looketh into scripture and discover the CLERGY system is not therein, you may cry out for relief from CLERGY-run programs. If you desire to function in the body of Christ as an equal minister who has a real place in Him, cry out to the LORD JESUS, and He will answer you in that very day, a day of jubilee! and He will say "Come! Sit at the feet of Apostolic teaching and learn of ME, and learn of your place in My body where You are free to function, and grow, and to speak as a fellow minister of Mine the very Oracles of God, for you are all my brothers sisters and I have given to each one of you a manifestation of My Spirit and Presence for the common good. (I Cor. 12:7) It is the purpose of my people, the so-called “laity” to do the work of the ministry unto building up My body.” (Eph. 4:12)
But what do the scriptures say? When I am among My people in very truth, where My Spirit is, there is liberty! When there is freedom for Me to function in My body, I give one person a word of wisdom, to another a word of knowledge. Another will receive the gift of faith and still another gifts of healing—all from My Spirit. Another person I enable to perform miracles, another to prophesy, while another is enabled to distinguish those prophetic spirits. I give another various kinds of unknown languages, while I give another the ability to interpret those languages. My Spirit works all these things in each of My members individually as I see fit. This is how it is in ALL my assemblies. My Spirit operating and filling All in All.” (Eph. 1:22=-23; I Cor. 12 & 14) This is My stated purpose for My assembled people. Any questions?